"Everyone's doing it"

Sometimes i wonder why i'm in uni studying... or doing something that everyone's doing... i mean, if it's bad and i'm not doing it, i would say "not everyone's doing it" but... this thing is a good thing but still not everyone's doing it...... so why am i doing it? don't i like to be different? i really want to skip to the end of the year but ... doing so will just allow me to go through the fun times and i won't really grow ... *sighzzzzz* and if i do that, i'll only be looking forward to death in the end =(

just like the movie Click

I'll admit that i'm a kind of person who wants results without putting in much effort... I want to enjoy my life without having to do much at all. I want money without working. All impossible wishes. Wouldn't it be better to just die now? Well maybe, but do I have the courage to die now? No i don't. Because a life is a life and you only have one life to live on Earth. After that, it's life in Heaven or in Hell... I wish i'm more satisfied to live as i am...

I want this, I want that... but i know that they'll never come true... but i know because i don't put in an effort to do so. I'm lazy and won't achieve anything in life with this attitude. That's how i am now. I want to change... but somehow, there's something holding me back from changing... two things i believe. 1. Laziness 2. Computer

1. Laziness

Even though I'm bored and there's nothing to do, i will try and find something to do that is not related to doing my work. That's how bad i am... it's sad but true.... then the next thing i know, it's time to sleep

2. Computer

because i have a laptop in my room, i'm always on it and inside my room... doing "work" but really, i'm on the internet checking facebook, a pen spinning forum, youtube, watching jdramas/jmovies. it also doesn't help that now we have 100gb so i don't have to worry about going over the download limit... also, it doesn't help with my major being computer science meaning i'm mostly on the computer ._."

i am smart but i wish i were smarter so i don't have to study at all... but i think reality is i have to study because i don't listen to the lectures... that or i can't hear the lecturers/they're too fast >.> this is no fun... i wonder if being an actress/singer/model's an easy job... well... other than having to look perfect....................... and i guess being/pretending to be perfect..... =\ great... now i don't know what to do D:

i don't want to be perfect though... because i know i'm not... but as i said earlier, i want money without working...... loosely meant to mean i want a job without having to put in much effort.

i sorta wish i were trapped in a dream for as long as i want, that way, i can just return to reality when i'm ready to return... but then, if i do that, i may not have a reason to live after returning to reality... life is so unfair... but then... that's the way life is...

sometimes i wish i had less of myself so i can give more of myself